Most people would say that the dinner is the most important part of a dinner party, but I would argue it’s having enough wine. You can pull a Tim Allen and turn a turkey into a wildfire, and no one will care if there are plenty of bottles to go around. Wine starts conversations, complements dishes (you didn’t burn), and keeps the party going. But how many bottles of wine are “enough wine”?
To start, you need to know how many glasses are in a bottle of wine. This seems obvious, but considering we’ve all had nights where a whole bottle of wine equals two very large mason jars of Cab Franc while hate-watching Love Actually, it’s important to break it down.
A bottle of wine is 750mL, which works out to approximately 25oz. The suggested serving size of wine is five ounces, which would mean each bottle has five glasses. If you want to stick to that math, that is perfectly fine, although personally, I don’t believe five ounces is a glass of wine. I think it’s a joke. Who pours exactly five ounces of wine? No one. If you work from the five glasses per bottle logic, you almost always come up short. According to my very professional opinion, a 750mL bottle of wine works out to be about four glasses of wine, and two chugs straight from the bottle you are awarded as the dinner party host.
What’s that funky orange wine they’re drinking? Read more about it here.
Using that information, I say you need at least one bottle of wine per guest. Think about it—you have a glass before dinner, a few at dinner, another after dinner. Boom, that’s a bottle right there, and that’s being conservative. But that’s just me, and it’s not my dinner party. To find out exactly how many bottles you need, we’re going to do a liiiittle math.
Since you already know how many glasses are in a bottle of wine, there are two other variables you must know in order to solve this ancient and universal equation.
First, you must know how many guests are coming. Check the group text and count ‘em up. Always add two extra people, because you never know who is going to surprise you with a new boyfriend, or when that notoriously flaky friend you still love and always invite will actually show up.
Second, you need to know how many glasses of wine each guest is going to drink. None of us here are psychic, but we can use this chart I made to predict how many glasses of wine your guests will consume based upon the duration of your dinner party and their love of wine.
Then, you pull out your cell phone and do this math: Number of Guests × Number of Estimated Glasses Per Guest ÷ 4 = Number of Bottles Needed
And voilá! Glasses will be full, guests will be happy, and you won’t run out of wine and haphazardly open that bottle you’ve been saving with a note attached that says, “DON’T OPEN ME, YOU’RE DRUNK!” Cause you will regret that shit.